chibes

So I was single for about a month I have a new boyfriend. He's amazing kind and sweet. He listens to what I say ans when I say stop he stops.
Yes me and the previous boy parted ways. I'm currently dating his "In drew's own words" ""Best friend"" from his hometown. All I need to say is this. Its not to get back at Drew or anything like that. People need to grow-up if thats what they believe. The only simalarites are they have facial hair and they are white. I mean yes both are dorks but they are different kinds of dorks. Drew's an otaku. This new guy is into Comics (marvel/dc) and stuff like that...

But I've been running DnD my own campaign and writing fanfiction. I've also been hanging out with my friends that I had set aside for his. Thank god they took me back and understood my position. I swear to myself the first time my friends say they don't like a person I'm listening to them. I didn't about Drew and got hurt in the mean time.

Yep he's abusive. He kicked me during AWA it still twinges to this day nearly a month after the con. (especially when its cold it hurts more.) I thought I would be able to break up with him and leave him but apparently I care for him too much and I keep forgiving him. >.<; Why do I do that. I mean he has a large temper and blows it way too often. He threw a water bottle at my door. My problem with leaving him is he lives across the hall from me. Lets just face it that is going to be majorly awkward. I'm going to wait until the end of the year to decide what I want to do then. I can live at home and commute or live in a dorm for a semester. But I enjoy living with Sam and Meagan would be fun to live with as well. I'm so torn and confused. I don't know who to talk to. I'll probably see if some of my friends are awake tomorrow and on facebook so I can chat to my hearts content.

Random note: Writing fanfiction again lol I bet my fans are pleased about that. I'm not. >.<;

Lol. I've been having so much fun. The girl from before. (The private posts of course...Visible only to me) She seems to be avoiding me like the plague. Every time she comes down the Statesboro (Which she will again this weekend. Its her and her boyfriends 2 year anniversary. I mean for such a bad friend to her I sure do remember the date of her and her boyfriend's anniversary. LOL) For supposedly being such GREAT friends with Drew's friends she sure as hell doesn't show her face around these parts where a good bit of Drew's friends live. If she truely believed herself to be much loved she should still attempt to see them regardless of me (the supposedly hated one with no friends) being there. But she hasn't...I've yet to meet a person other then her boyfriend and her boyfriend's close friend that live in this little town that like her. Everyone I know endures her because her boyfriend is that awesome of a person. That he makes putting up with her worth it. A trait she accused me of. That I was merely tolerated for Drew's sake. Then why go into Drew's room where I am comfortable being alone/playing alone and ask me to join in on what the group is doing when Drew is in class or work? As you read in my conversation with her, she makes no damn since and she knows her arguements are flawed.

Again I am surely reminded some people are never to be trusted because you think a person is a friend when really they are just using you. It has happened before. I really should not be as trusting of people nor as kind to people. I mean is it really better to have loved and lost or never have loved at all.

I still haven't decided what I'm going to do about my boyfriend and his major role in the bs that went down this summer. How can you every truely trust someone after they denounce your ethnicity, your mother, and your religion. You may apologize for it but the fact remains that you spoke those words, no one put those words in your mouth...even worse you typed it which means you had to concentrate on writing the words, you had the chance to second guess yourself but you still posted it. I don't know what I want from you. You said you were sorry but you still haven't shown me true repentence. I've gotten over the nakid comments and asking for pics of her boobs. Because hey everyone is curious about freaks and weirdos. Though that is mean of me. Drew is merely human with a boob thing. He was feeling insecure about the relationship because of the argueing with him about being responsible and prioritizing. (You know remembering to call me. Or if he made plans he should stick with them. If he doesn't want to do something...why the hell would you let someone talk you into it?) He did FINALLY do the right thing and cut off all ties with her. I warned him once and I warned him twice about this girl. I don't care if it was a bitch move of me for making him do so. Ultimatums do work. I told him it was his friendship with Caro or Me. He chose me and deleted her information and blocked her, unfriended her and so on and so forth. I mean I was accused of being such a heinous bitch (may as well live up to it...lol) because I wouldn't let him leave me. Hell, I held the door wide open and told him to get and he wouldn't. I know it seems extreme but she was way way too eager to find out about Drew's and mine arguements which sent signals to my brain saying, "She is a drama-whore, She is merely looking for stuff to use against you. The fact she gossiped about other people was a good warning too." So I warned Drew not to tell anything of our problems to his boyfriend because she would then find out. And once she finds out the whole city will know about our problems. I mentioned nothing about my suspisions that she wanted me and Drew to break up, that she was secretly in love with the attention boys give her. You know the type of girl...If you are a girl out there you know the kind that want to see how many guys she can have in love with her.

The fact that Drew stopped panting after her after we started dating might have rubbed her the wrong way. I mean there was one guy off of the list. I had picked up on it when she jumped on Drew's back last spring and rubbed her wet breasts all over his back. Kind of a indicator she was flirting with him without being completely obvious about it. (Though to me it looked WAY too obvious but that could be little old insecure me talking) Also the fact when she was trying to pry into our fights I would tell her it was nothing big or it was something private between me and Drew. She probably didn't appreciate being kept out of the loop. Which apparently made me a bitch for not being completely open and honest with her. All I need to say is I am completely open and honest with my closest friends and my family. That is all I really need. So if I already talked to them about it I don't need to talk to you about it. Lets face it...I don't expect to be all of my friends confidant nor do I expect they believe they have to be mine.

One day I will make all of this information visable to my friends but until I do this is just between you and me.

Even though my thing was kept hidden but I want to keep posting what's going on...on the odd chance that I do make this public...Now to my and Caro's conversation.


[21:48] Chib3s: ^^
[21:48] Angel Undaunted: I'm glad you think this is so funny.
[21:48] Chib3s: I do
[21:48] Chib3s: just a tad
[21:48] Angel Undaunted: You've dug yourself so deep there's no way you'll be cool with Drews friends ever again.
[21:49] Chib3s: Uh huh because that is not what they said. Considering I hang out with his friends on a regular basis w/o him too
[21:49] Angel Undaunted: oh really? You hang out with Ian? Mike? Britt?
[21:49] Chib3s: They know they don't have to like me...they just do
[21:49] Chib3s: Yep
[21:49] Angel Undaunted: I know you're lying.
[21:49] Angel Undaunted: And that's sad.
[21:50] Chib3s: Lol considering today is the first day I've not been at G'boro I doubt it
[21:50] Chib3s: And Ian and Mike have been over here for a party
[21:50] Angel Undaunted: not for you
[21:50] Angel Undaunted: for a party.
[21:50] Angel Undaunted: not the same.
[21:50] Chib3s: Uh-huh. Because its still hanging out
[21:50] Angel Undaunted: and believe me, Mike's about ready to come over to your apartment and punch some sense into you.
[21:50] Chib3s: Why are you always trying to cause trouble
[21:50] Chib3s: lol
[21:51] Angel Undaunted: WTF? You're the one causing shit.
[21:51] Angel Undaunted: YOU messaged Ian and Mike
[21:51] Chib3s: I did
[21:51] Angel Undaunted: YOU'VE lost your fucking marbles.
[21:51] Chib3s: nope
[21:51] Chib3s: they are right here
[21:51] Chib3s: I love how when someone challenges you you get so defensive
[21:51] Angel Undaunted: You know, I really can't argue when someone uses third grade tactics and child logic.
[21:52] Angel Undaunted: It's just not my thing.
[21:52] Chib3s: Eh
[21:52] Angel Undaunted: When you're ready to talk and act like a grownup, you come calling.
[21:52] Chib3s: you keep trying to get Drew mad at Brandon
[21:52] Angel Undaunted: Drew should be mad at Brandon.
[21:52] Angel Undaunted: And you're a sad sack of shit.
[21:52] Chib3s: Brandon is my best friend he has a sarcastic humor
[21:52] Angel Undaunted: It's pathetic how you parade him around
[21:52] Chib3s: Drew understands that
[21:52] Chib3s: Brandon?
[21:52] Chib3s: lol
[21:52] Angel Undaunted: He's disgusting.
[21:52] Chib3s: uh-huh
[21:53] Angel Undaunted: But like I said.
[21:53] Angel Undaunted: When you're ready to deal with this like an adult, come calling.
[21:53] Chib3s: just because he likes to joke around and be sarcastic that makes him disgusting?
[21:53] Angel Undaunted: Until then, go deal with it somewhere where I don't have to have people running to me to deal with it.
[21:53] Angel Undaunted: No, the fact that he doesn't bathe makes him disgusting.
[21:53] Chib3s: He does
[21:53] Chib3s: conditions his hair too
[21:53] Chib3s: I think you have him confused with one of your other friends
[21:53] Angel Undaunted: Yeah. I care. Truly.
[21:54] Chib3s: Then why make shit up about him
[21:54] Angel Undaunted: I'm not?
[21:54] Angel Undaunted: His hygeine is on Cody's level
[21:54] Chib3s: you sound so sincere and confident there
[21:54] Chib3s: lol
[21:54] Chib3s: Eh I'll let him know you wonder about his bathing habits. Just because you don't like a person doesn't mean you should make stuff up about them
[21:55] Angel Undaunted: Look, I'm done speaking for everyone else. I talked to drew which is what I was sent to do. The whole POINT of me being sent to talk to him was so none of the others would be held responsible for what was said
[21:55] Angel Undaunted: Which you CLEARLY missed the point of.
[21:55] Angel Undaunted: But
[21:55] Chib3s: Lol I just asked them if they said it. They all denied it. Earl is the most honest person I know
[21:55] Chib3s: Ian has no reason to lie. He says it like it is
[21:56] Angel Undaunted: I will speak for myself, and for Mike. Stay the fuck away from us. Mike hates you, I wash my hands of you, and I truly hope Drew comes to his senses and leaves you like a real man.
[21:56] Chib3s: And Mike has no reason to lie either. I mentioned I wasn't going to get mad. That I was merely curious
[21:56] Angel Undaunted: Okay this concept is clearly lost on you.
[21:56] Angel Undaunted: I was told to talk to drew.
[21:56] Chib3s: Lol. Mike hates me?
[21:56] Chib3s: Jajaja then why is he still my FB friend?
[21:56] Angel Undaunted: I was told that they are not to be held responsible in order to save their friendships.
[21:56] Angel Undaunted: he has a lot of fb friends that aren't friends
[21:57] Angel Undaunted: god you're such a child.
[21:57] Chib3s: Me?
[21:57] Chib3s: You are the one with the juvenile attacks
[21:57] Chib3s: I'm just playing this calmly and defusing your arguements with logic
[21:57] Angel Undaunted: you're not using logic,
[21:58] Angel Undaunted: You're using snarkiness.
[21:58] Angel Undaunted: a difference.
[21:58] Chib3s: That Earl has never lied to me before? How is using precedent not logic? He will let me know if he believes I effed up
[21:59] Chib3s: Ian, Drew holds in high esteem for his levelheadedness. The fact that he admitted to some of what was said but denied others. How is that not logic. Why would he admit to some and deny others?
[21:59] Chib3s: Mike had never heard of most of the stuff you wrote. How is his professing innocence (he has also not lied to me either) how is that not logic?
[22:00] Angel Undaunted: clearly this is lost on you
[22:01] Angel Undaunted: and you're not going to believe anything that isn't already preordained in your head.
[22:01] Chib3s: Nope. You want to cause a rift between Me and Drew's friends
[22:01] Chib3s: Something that is not lost on me. I AM a sociology major I understand group dynamics very well
[22:01] Angel Undaunted: obviously not.
[22:02] Angel Undaunted: just because they don't lash out at you like I do doesn't mean they like you
[22:02] Angel Undaunted: they ENDURE you
[22:02] Angel Undaunted: BIG DIFFERENCE
[22:03] Chib3s: Lol. Well they are doing a pretty fantastic job of just enduring me. Considering they go out of their way to talk. And le gasp so Does Morgen and Shanna.
[22:03] Chib3s: Hold on let me ask
[22:04] Angel Undaunted: Yeah, well, Drew thinks of me while having sex with you. Kay? Awesome. Bye.l
[22:07] Chib3s: nope. they don't hate me. They are slightly confused as to why someone would think that of them...and lol let him. I'm sure Melissa is so easily confused with Caro when he orgasms. ^^ And have a lovely day. I shall be more than willing to share this conversation with them.
[22:08] Angel Undaunted: I could give a fuck and a half what shanna thinks of you. We dont even talk.
[22:09] Chib3s: Lol thats fine. You don't have to like all of Mike's friends
[22:09] Chib3s: Just like All of Drew's friends don't have to like me. I'm not going to wail and gnash my teeth because some of his friends dislike me
[22:10] Angel Undaunted: but... that's what you're doing right now?
[22:10] Angel Undaunted: being a little bitch over some things that weren't even said to you.
[22:11] Angel Undaunted: I mean, heck, people probably tell Mike that I'm a bitch all the time. I don't go confronting them. Why? Cuz I could care less.
[22:11] Chib3s: What? nope I was just curious and once my curiosity was sated I informed you of your erroneous ways and that's about it
[22:11] Angel Undaunted: But your insecurities are getting in your way.
[22:11] Angel Undaunted: I was not erroneous.
[22:11] Chib3s: which ones?
[22:11] Angel Undaunted: You just don't want to believe the truth.
[22:11] Chib3s: The bit about being called pretty?
[22:12] Chib3s: lol when you grow up with gorgous sisters as I have being cute doesn't hold much sway
[22:12] Angel Undaunted: but you're not
[22:12] Chib3s: eh that's just one person's opinion
[22:12] Chib3s: Drew doesn't think I'm cute
[22:13] Chib3s: he thinks I'm gorgeous
[22:13] Angel Undaunted: okay. How bout you pass around an anonymous questionairre
[22:13] Angel Undaunted: See what kind of answers you get
[22:13] Angel Undaunted: Better yet, ask John.
[22:13] Chib3s: lol why would his opinion matter to me? I don't talk to him
[22:13] Angel Undaunted: he's friends with drew.
[22:13] Angel Undaunted: derp.
[22:14] Chib3s: lol just because he's drew's friend doesn't make him friends with me
[22:14] Chib3s: and just like someone is my friend doesn't automatically make them friends of Drew's
[22:14] Angel Undaunted: if drew thinks you're so pretty, then why is he constantly drooling over any girl of a NORMAL WEIGHT CLASS walking into gamesboro.
[22:15] Angel Undaunted: Including me, I might add.
[22:15] Chib3s: yes because he totally does this. Caro I hate to burst your bubble but nothing you say of Drew will make me angry at him
[22:15] Angel Undaunted: Boy, does he love when I come to visit.
[22:15] Chib3s: why you coming down this weekend?
[22:15] Angel Undaunted: Well Mike told me to point that little tidbit out
[22:15] Angel Undaunted: Oh, there's another point.
[22:16] Angel Undaunted: My boyfriend doesn't need to look at other women.
[22:16] Angel Undaunted: Cuz I'm the only one he sees.
[22:16] Chib3s: lol because you keep an eye on him
[22:16] Chib3s: how do you know what he does when you aren't there. ^^ There are some sexy girls hanging out at gboro now
[22:16] Angel Undaunted: where's the logic in that? I'm 100 miles away
[22:16] Chib3s: the first bit was sarcastic
[22:17] Angel Undaunted: Even if there were sexy girls there, Drew would grab them first
[22:17] Chib3s: lol he doesn't need to. He has me~ ^^ and last time I checked he goes to bed with me every night.
[22:18] Angel Undaunted: so?
[22:18] Angel Undaunted: might as well be going to bed with a 50 lb sack of rice.
[22:19] Chib3s: lol. He could but he says he sleeps much better when I am there. And what does it matter what you think about mine and Drew's relationship. But I
[22:19] Chib3s: am posting a honesty box question
[22:19] Angel Undaunted: On facebook?
[22:19] Angel Undaunted: You realize pretty much no one uses that right?
[22:20] Chib3s: uh-huh
[22:20] Chib3s: they do
[22:20] Chib3s: how else could I talk to Ian and Mike and Earl on there on a regular basis.
[22:20] Angel Undaunted: Mmm. Well I'm sure brandon will have lots of very sweet things to say about you.
[22:21] Angel Undaunted: look, you don't talk to Mike on a regular basis. Ever. He probably would have killed himself by now if you did.
[22:21] Chib3s: lol Are you in love with him?
[22:21] Chib3s: You seem to have this unhealthy obsession with Brandon
[22:21] Angel Undaunted: Yes. That's it.
[22:21] Chib3s: shall I let him know
[22:21] Angel Undaunted: I'm in love with him
[22:21] Chib3s: he is single
[22:21] Angel Undaunted: Yep.
[22:21] Angel Undaunted: Awwww did Melissa get grossed out already?
[22:21] Angel Undaunted: Poor thing.
[22:22] Chib3s: uh-huh that's totally it. That's why she's coming up here tomorrow. To spend the day with him. I just love how judgmental you are
[22:23] Angel Undaunted: I just assumed. You were the one who said he was single.
[22:23] Angel Undaunted: I love how much of a bitch you are.
[22:23] Angel Undaunted: You really give me a run for my money.
[22:23] Chib3s: lol who ever said that Asians and Brandon were ever together?
[22:23] Angel Undaunted: GO on. Take the crown.
[22:23] Angel Undaunted: You're queen bitch.
[22:23] Angel Undaunted: Yay for you.
[22:23] Chib3s: lol because pointing out the flaws in your arguement makes me a bitch. At least I wasn't trying to plan someone else's wedding
[22:24] Angel Undaunted: I wanted to help. As a friend. Because I had free time and some knowledge. Excuse me for trying to be your friend and not being a complete bitch from the getgo
[22:25] Chib3s: uh-huh. You sure you weren't just itching at the chance to plan one yourself. Because last time I checked I've been and helped plan over 7 weddings. Yeah that counts as no experience
[22:26] Angel Undaunted: Mmkay tell you what. I'm bored with you, and I want a bubble bath. If you can muster up the energy, dig through your rolls til you find your vagina, then pull the stick out of it. Mmkay? Thanks. Toodles.
[22:27] Chib3s: HAHAHA as soon as someone begins to make sense you flee

lets see what's happened since my last post. I'm no longer engaged. Cut out a 'friend' Was betrayed by the boyfriend. I found out he was the one to push the fight between me and this supposed friend. And not only that he wrote her saying that if he was still single he would have asked her out because she was attractive this girl (I totally accused her of being enamoured with the boyfriend...she denied it) replied that she would have said yes if she was still single. I feel so bad for her boyfriend. >.< My boyfriend when I comfronted him about this said he merely said the stuff to draw info out of this girl. Even if the motives were suspect how can a relationship last when your boyfriend believes that you are a spoiled, insecure, bitch, who needs to be slapped and put in your place? Even if it was in gest the fact remains he said it. I'm going to stay with him for now.

I know I said the last time that if he cheated on me again (Its one thing to look, its something COMPLETELY different when you flirt with the person, especially if you are in a relationship and I called you out on flirting with her and told you I view flirting as cheating.) The first time I called him on it was on the 1st of January/2nd of January. This girl told me the beginning of that school year he hit on her. I called him out on it and he says another girls name and says that the flirting was just his joking around. I forgave him that time and then he did it again 4 months later with a person he hasn't even met in person. He flirted with this person just 2 short days before he proposed to me. When that person said, don't you have a girlfriend his reply was yeah but I doubt things are going to last much longer. This last example was on his 21st birthday. And with the girl I argued with him about on the 1st of the year.

Why do I keep forgiving and taking his ass back? I really should dump him and wash my hands of it. If things don't improve its done by the end of the year. And that's my promise. I will promise on my dad's grave that I will drop him like he's a bad habit.

So I have been engaged a little over a week (it was a week since Friday night/Saturday morning) I remember we were watching Family Matters when he did it. Still waiting on the ring but I have been using my college ring as a serraget until he can afford one. ^^

Colors have been chosen: Clover and chocolate. I would post a pic if I cared to figure it out. But that should hopefully take you to see the bridesmaid dress we chose. I say we because Drew my fiance has as much say in this thing as I do. To my surprise he wanted a bigger wedding than courthouse which I was cool with.

But outside of wedding talks (It will be November of 2011 not sure of a date, date yet.) I have resumed fanfiction writing. Its stressful since its been so long since I first started these stories and last updated. Also I get my computer fixed tomorrow ^^ I'm hoping for good grades albeit I gott a B average this semester to get money for when my mother is gone to Canada so I can get my self food if need be and buy Gas. My babe turns 21 and i won't miss it for the world. ^^

Weather sucks. Its hot and icky. and I has no air conditioning.

Randomness aside. I realize a good bit of my plans circle around getting information on time. I have 18 plates to do by Tuesday on "A midsummer night's dream" there are more than 18 people. We will see how this goes. I managed to find a copy of the play online so I am going to take the time to read it and write the information I need down so I can concentrate on drawing this stuff.

wish me luck and know that school ends soon.

Well I have been avoiding everything the past couple of weeks. I can't sit through class this week. I've suffered an allergy attack of epic proportions and I've yet to have a good night of sleep.

Stress has piled up and it has left me tired and jaded counting down the days until I can go home for the summer.
Graduation is the largest looming factor, that and the want to take my relationship with my boyfriend to the next level. We have talked about marriage and the only thing stopping him from proposing is the lack of ring. But when he says that and turns around and buys the latest shiny for his laptop/computer/gaming system it hurts.

But on top of this MY best friend was violated in a way no one deserves to be and when she reached out to one of her friends, he turns around and abandons her calling her selfish for wanting company. Which enrages me. Friends come first and there is a hierarchy in importance. Death in the family and serious hospitalization are the only things in my opinion that top this violation in importance to being their for a friend. Just because a friend has had a shitty week means you can abandon this friend in need for some one who has had a couple bad days in class.

I'm sorry but this person who committed the betrayal I feel is shit. Nothing justifies your selfishness that you tried to

disguise

by playing pot calling the kettle black. This makes you an ugly person. No matter how pretty you are on the outside your insides are ugly for the consistent being a fair-weather friend. Don't expect help if you don't offer it. You reap what you sow and your fruits aren't looking all that good at the moment.

Of course he and his other friend (a cheerleader/antagonizer of a person) are trying to make peace with the jilted friend by acting as if they did nothing wrong and trying to act as everything is okay. Well I am speaking for my best friend and saying NO ITS NOT OKAY. STOP ACTING AS IF YOU DID NOTHING WRONG AND HONESTLY APOLOGIZE AND MEAN IT! This doesn't mean saying sorry and then a week later turning around and doing the same thing again; It means apologizing and making an honest effort to change and not do it again.

Well this one is a more private note.  I don't consider it abuse because well outside of my nose bleeding I wasn't bruised.

My boyfriend has taken to subconsciously abusing me.  In an attempt to tickle my nose he stabbed it with his nail.  He falcon knees me randomly in his sleep.  But the only instance where I think it was deliberate was in a fight we had.  He grabbed my shoulder and shoved me into the couch.  That one hurt for two days >.<

He's apologized of course.  And I know he wouldn't intentionally hurt me.  Sometimes he needs to watch what he says.  He is a guy so he is dense and sticks his foot in his mouth.  But he is really a sweet and sensitive guy.  He is very empathetic and he feels so strongly about stuff.  Which is a blessing and a curse.

He doesn't understand how I can cry one moment and when I see it had upset.  I will stop and put a smile on my face, telling him "No worries. I'm fine"  (Not fake crying...but when voices of the past haunt me)  Its just practice.  I am the youngest, the clown of the family.  It has always been my job to make other people feel better.  So I've learned to disguise my feelings.  To set them aside for another place and time in order to make someone else feel better.

He calls it selfless.  I see it as completely the opposite,  I am so selfish.  To avoid fighting and drama, I'll go out of my way to take care of people.  When others hurt I do too.  So to avoid that feeling I take care of people.  I give in, give up and cheer up.

Well from my dreams come my ideas for Fanfiction and this latest one is a doozy if I might say so myself.  I have about two pages of the first chapter typed.  Its called Tokyo Nights.  I am POSITIVE this crossover has never been done.  But if it has not like this.

Well Outside of FF Senior year of college is pwning my butt.  Might end up with two or so Bs.

What's been going on you may ask?

My Free trial will run out soon.  I haven't updated at all, I haven't worked on any of them because of the excessive college work load.  Schooling is first.  I have this 1 week free with nothing to worry about, Spring break was full of work too.

But I made 3 A's and 1 B, not to shabby if I say so myself.  The only B was the fact that all the tests were essay tests and we know writing is not my forte.

4 months until AWA!!! (Go to Iron Editor to see me make a fool of myself.)

sorry...I have baan away from the computer since the 26th after I posted my note so I haven't finished much of what I set out to do.

UPDaTES tomorrow!!!!! I have 2 new stories and FE, AoL, and maybe Happenings as well if I connect the end of the chapter and the point I'm at.  right now. (I have the end of the chapter written)

Oh and a general thing please don't ever ask me to change the pairing of a story because I won't.  I guess I feel that its rude and I am a rather stubborn and ornary person so I tend to dig my feet.

Well I guess we all know what this note is about...yep I have counted all those reviews and pms that tell me to update when I said that each one will get ANY updates pushed back a day per update request...

ALL STORIES HAVE BEEN PUSHED BACK 3 weeks because of these requests...sorry guys but I've decided to enforce my own rules...

Well I am working on updating...slowly but surely I am getting back into the swing of things and I apologize for the long gap entre updates but I needed to make sure my head is back on straight.  Expect updates by the end of next month (hopefully with two new stories as well...)

Death surrounds me
it leaves its bony hands hovering over this poor young(ish) woman
As soon as contentment is found or the world enters a sense of complacency
It brushes a bony finger along my back
ensuring its touch is felt

Oh merciless master
am I but a puppet to your cruel whims?
Or perhaps I am an project to see when one breaks
But Death, you cruel reaper
You may howl and wail to your sister the winds
but this temple will not bow to your torment
The reed of my spirit can weather your storm
I shall hold on and become the one to crush your grip upon me

But if you should win I shall not go without the satisfaction that I did not lose

Well I'm in a funk (well not really) I just haven't been able to write any fanfiction at all.  I believe this may be due in part to main things...my sister getting married and me being her maid of honor and the other is my boyfriend and wanting to play video games more thanks to his evil evil influence.

I will try to post within the month but I need to get going I'm rather busy now.

Death of a friend

Wondering why you haven't heard from them
Not a word at all
You go to their Facebook space
And all that it in thralled

"We will miss you"
and "Rest in Peace"
cover the woman's wall
Thats when you put two and two together
and the tears begin to fall.
Stiffling choking sobs
You try to find the truth
Was this some sort of cruel joke
Payback for forgetting to call?

Alas it's not and the bell toils
Marking the loss of one special girl.
Who would sing aloud in her car
and not be ashamed at all.
Taking the time to tell my family
one of the toughest things to do.

Realizing that you are not there
No way to say good-bye.
So this here is my gift to you

Good bye, Cumaya.
You will be recalled
We will meet again
for the food you were owed
As they lay you down
in that long wooden box,
Please remember there are many
wanting to see you again.

Wait up for me in Paradise
and I promise that cake will be yours

Con mucho carino
Melissa A. your sister in spirit.

As we know I'm in London for the summer (Meaning FE is my main focus) but these attacks and bombs have me wishing I were home...

Don't get me wrong I love the place but at least in South GA I don't have to worry about terrorist attacks...I know I sound whiny but I can't help but feel this way but I am glad on the flip side because I got to meet so many new people and see some amazing stuff and lose weight thanks to this walking I have to do everywhere...

I'm not feeling much to writing more but do expect random updates...